Denouncement #5
I hereby formally denounce Paris Hilton. Furthermore, I hereby formally issue a call for Paris Hilton to be tarred & feathered at once.
Anybody who casually follows the "news" as put out by the mass media will know there are any number of reasons for denouncing Paris Hilton. To enumerate them all would be an undertaking for which I have not the time. Nonetheless, I shall attempt to hit the high points and outline roughly my case for denouncement.
Paris Hilton is a stain on the United States of America. I shudder at the thought of a single foreigner associating her with this country. Her entire person, her every action stands in stark opposition and contrast to the values of the United States. As I have pointed out elsewhere, the person of President Lincoln is an excellent yardstick by which to compare the various infidels whom I denounce. Let's take up the case of Mr Lincoln and Paris Hilton. Only then, gentle reader, will you come to know the true worthlessness of Paris Hilton.
Abraham Lincoln bears the name of the biblical figure Abraham, who is revered by Christians, Jews, and Muslims. Paris Hilton is named after a hotel. A hotel. Enough there.
Abraham Lincoln's youth epitomizes that of the self-made American. He was born in a one room log cabin on the frontier. He was largely self-educated, with only 18 months of formal education, and that from unofficial teachers. He read what he could borrow and in doing so mastered the Bible, Shakespeare, and English and American history. During his younger years, he performed manual labor and operated a small store. Abe would go onto study the law (on his own) and be admitted to the bar in the State of Illinois at the age of 28. As we all know, Mr Lincoln would go on to the Illinois legislature, the US Congress, and later the Presidency and immortality.
Compare that to Paris Hilton. (FN) She was born into a family of wealth and a life of privilege; indeed, her grandfather was named Barron (Think: "Baron"). Instead of taking advantage of her circumstances and making something worthwhile of herself, Ms Hilton dropped out of high school. Since then, her notable contributions to society include making a crappy porn video, acting (if you can call it that) in a series of horrible TV shows and movies, recording an album of music (if you can call it music), and whoring her name and likeness out to any corporation with enough money to satisfy her seemingly insatiable desire for wealth. When one considers her life, the only good thing to come out of all this was Banksy's excellent prank.
Then, Ms Hilton was shown on film to call somebody a "Hoodlum, broke, poor bitch from Compton" and a "Public school bitch" (FN), as if that could be considered an insult coming as it were from somebody who didn't even finish high school. The audacity. I wonder if she would say the same thing about Mr Lincoln, would she call him "A poor, country boy from the Frontier" and a "Self-educated bitch"? Makes you wonder.
And Ms Hilton's recent comments about black people is another matter entirely. In the same video, she mocked other persons at the party by saying, "I'm a little black whore. I get fucked in the butt for coke", "I'm a nigger", and "I'm black and I steal shit." Compare this to Mr Lincoln, who, while no John Brown when it came to matters of race, at least had the common sense and decency to see that the horrible institution of slavery be abolished and that the blacks in America be given equal rights with other citizens. Ms Hilton's recent comments make you wonder whether she would be more at home in the antebellum South than in the 21st century.
Now, I have shown a few of the reasons for my Denouncement of Ms Hilton: specifically, that Ms Hilton was born into a life of wealth and privilege but still failed to contribute to the betterment of society; and, that Ms Hilton has nonetheless maintained an outlook on life that can only be described as aristocratic and an affront to the people of the United States.
I come now to the reason for her being tarred and feathered.
Tarring and feathering is a type of punishment carried out by a vengeful mob. It is done primarily to humiliate the victim. It was a common practice in colonial America, with Patriots tarring and feathering those in cahoots with the King of England and the ruling classes. It was done in post-WWII France, with French patriots tarring and feathering those in cahoots with the Nazis. And it was also done by the IRA (as it was in the Colonial US) to those in cahoots with their English colonizers. (FN) So what does all this add up to? It adds up to tarring and feathering being the appropriate punishment for those who flagrantly and without remorse insult the honor of one's country from the foul perch of aristocracy.
And if anybody in recent memory has insulted the US and the American people in such a manner, it is Paris Hilton. If I was the attorney in the LA County District Attorney's Office responsible for prosecuting her for DUI, I would see to it that she received the appropriate punishment under the law, that is to say, the statutory maximum. Or, perhaps, in an act of leniency and forgiveness, I would not recommend she be sentenced to jail if instead she agreed to be tarred and feathered.
Anybody who casually follows the "news" as put out by the mass media will know there are any number of reasons for denouncing Paris Hilton. To enumerate them all would be an undertaking for which I have not the time. Nonetheless, I shall attempt to hit the high points and outline roughly my case for denouncement.
Paris Hilton is a stain on the United States of America. I shudder at the thought of a single foreigner associating her with this country. Her entire person, her every action stands in stark opposition and contrast to the values of the United States. As I have pointed out elsewhere, the person of President Lincoln is an excellent yardstick by which to compare the various infidels whom I denounce. Let's take up the case of Mr Lincoln and Paris Hilton. Only then, gentle reader, will you come to know the true worthlessness of Paris Hilton.
Abraham Lincoln bears the name of the biblical figure Abraham, who is revered by Christians, Jews, and Muslims. Paris Hilton is named after a hotel. A hotel. Enough there.
Abraham Lincoln's youth epitomizes that of the self-made American. He was born in a one room log cabin on the frontier. He was largely self-educated, with only 18 months of formal education, and that from unofficial teachers. He read what he could borrow and in doing so mastered the Bible, Shakespeare, and English and American history. During his younger years, he performed manual labor and operated a small store. Abe would go onto study the law (on his own) and be admitted to the bar in the State of Illinois at the age of 28. As we all know, Mr Lincoln would go on to the Illinois legislature, the US Congress, and later the Presidency and immortality.
Compare that to Paris Hilton. (FN) She was born into a family of wealth and a life of privilege; indeed, her grandfather was named Barron (Think: "Baron"). Instead of taking advantage of her circumstances and making something worthwhile of herself, Ms Hilton dropped out of high school. Since then, her notable contributions to society include making a crappy porn video, acting (if you can call it that) in a series of horrible TV shows and movies, recording an album of music (if you can call it music), and whoring her name and likeness out to any corporation with enough money to satisfy her seemingly insatiable desire for wealth. When one considers her life, the only good thing to come out of all this was Banksy's excellent prank.
Then, Ms Hilton was shown on film to call somebody a "Hoodlum, broke, poor bitch from Compton" and a "Public school bitch" (FN), as if that could be considered an insult coming as it were from somebody who didn't even finish high school. The audacity. I wonder if she would say the same thing about Mr Lincoln, would she call him "A poor, country boy from the Frontier" and a "Self-educated bitch"? Makes you wonder.
And Ms Hilton's recent comments about black people is another matter entirely. In the same video, she mocked other persons at the party by saying, "I'm a little black whore. I get fucked in the butt for coke", "I'm a nigger", and "I'm black and I steal shit." Compare this to Mr Lincoln, who, while no John Brown when it came to matters of race, at least had the common sense and decency to see that the horrible institution of slavery be abolished and that the blacks in America be given equal rights with other citizens. Ms Hilton's recent comments make you wonder whether she would be more at home in the antebellum South than in the 21st century.
Now, I have shown a few of the reasons for my Denouncement of Ms Hilton: specifically, that Ms Hilton was born into a life of wealth and privilege but still failed to contribute to the betterment of society; and, that Ms Hilton has nonetheless maintained an outlook on life that can only be described as aristocratic and an affront to the people of the United States.
I come now to the reason for her being tarred and feathered.
Tarring and feathering is a type of punishment carried out by a vengeful mob. It is done primarily to humiliate the victim. It was a common practice in colonial America, with Patriots tarring and feathering those in cahoots with the King of England and the ruling classes. It was done in post-WWII France, with French patriots tarring and feathering those in cahoots with the Nazis. And it was also done by the IRA (as it was in the Colonial US) to those in cahoots with their English colonizers. (FN) So what does all this add up to? It adds up to tarring and feathering being the appropriate punishment for those who flagrantly and without remorse insult the honor of one's country from the foul perch of aristocracy.
And if anybody in recent memory has insulted the US and the American people in such a manner, it is Paris Hilton. If I was the attorney in the LA County District Attorney's Office responsible for prosecuting her for DUI, I would see to it that she received the appropriate punishment under the law, that is to say, the statutory maximum. Or, perhaps, in an act of leniency and forgiveness, I would not recommend she be sentenced to jail if instead she agreed to be tarred and feathered.
